Shinobis
by QuietChick
Summary: A collection of random thoughts from the ninjas of Konoha. Let me know if you have any character requests.
1. The Beautiful Green Beast

People don't understand why I keep trying. They ask me why I continue on, knowing defeat is inevitable. Why does anyone continue on? Defeat is inevitable for all of us, isn't it? We'll all end up dead, sooner or later. At least, if my time comes soon, I'll know I've tried my best to make an impression on the world.

Everyone tells me that my goals will never be reached. They say that I won't become more than what I am now. They've always said that, yet I keep progressing. I reach a new level, and they say I'm at my peak, so I try harder and reach the next level. Then the next, and the next, and the next, but it will never be enough. No matter what I accomplish, it will never be enough to prove my worth.

Someone once asked me why I decided to become a ninja. I guess it started when my parents died. My parents were killed when the Kyuubi attacked Konoha; I was only a year old. One of the female ninjas in the village, some say it may have even been Tsunade-sama herself, found me laying in a pile of rocks, hence my surname. My given name was carved onto a pendant around my neck, "Lee." I grew up in the orphanage of Konoha. I was ridiculed constantly because of my eyebrows, so I grew my hair out to cover them up. But I was still alone. It seemed no one wanted to risk becoming the friend of the eyebrow kid. So I watched everyone playing together, having fun, building relationships. From my window, I could watch the students at the ninja academy train together and play. These children, who had never met each other before, became best friends, relying on each other for survival. I thought it was the only possible way I could ever have friends. So I decided to enroll in the ninja academy, to find comrades. I trained as hard as I could at ninja academy, but something was lacking.

I couldn't use magic. I couldn't do any ninjutsu or genjutsu. My taijutsu was horrible also, but I knew it was my only hope. So I tried, and tried, and tried. But I hardly improved. I was ready to give up.

Finally, I met him. I was practicing one day, not long after I had started at the academy. I remember it like it was yesterday. I'll never forget that moment. He didn't even introduce himself. He just flashed a smile and gave me thumbs up. "Youth… The youth of springtime must be hot-blooded! If you work hard you will become an excellent ninja! Young man! Stick out your chest with pride!"

I didn't know what to say. It was the first time I had ever heard any encouragement. I was, what, 10, and that was the first time I had heard any encouraging words. I wondered how I had made it so far on my own, and I realized that maybe he was right. If I keep trying, I will become an excellent ninja!

So I kept trying. And I graduated ninja academy, against all odds. And I ended up on his team. So I tried, even harder. I felt honored. I was on the team of Hyuuga Neji, the number one rookie, a Hyuuga genius. I'd have plenty of opportunities to test my skill. I kept pushing forward. Gai-sensei told me he had once been just like me, and ended up able to defeat the elite Copy Ninja Kakashi. So, if I tried, I could beat the elite genius Neji. I tried and failed. Tried and failed.

The Chunin exams came quickly, even though Gai-sensei had made us wait an extra year. I was excited. I wanted to test my strength against other great ninjas. Before the exam, I had the opportunity to fight the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan, Uchiha Sasuke. And I would have won, had we not been interrupted. I considered that the first victory on my quest for success. I was ready for anything as we entered the Forest of Death. My teammates could hardly keep up with me. I couldn't wait to fight the strongest genin in the world.

I was honored. My first match, and I was paired against Subuku no Gaara, Gaara of the Sand. He made it through the forest of death without a scratch. Kiba's dog, Akamaru, was whimpering pathetically in Gaara's presence. It should be fun, I thought. The second I stared into his eyes, I knew I would win this match, or die trying. I gave it my all, and it still wasn't enough. My body wouldn't stop fighting. According to Gai-sensei, even after I had lost consciousness, I kept trying to fight.

According to Kakashi-sensei, I am a genius. Opening up even the first gate is just a dream for many ninjas, but to be able to open 5 of them is an unthinkable accomplishment.

And yet, I still felt inadequate. Sasuke-kun won his match without a problem. He copied my taijutsu that I had worked and bled so hard to master to win his match. Naruto defeated Kiba and Akamaru, fighting hard, with fierce determination that possibly even surpasses my own. Then Neji, his cruelty and hatred boiled over, and strengthened him even more. I watched them fight, and I was determined to keep up. Facing and defeating an opponent as strong as Gaara would certainly be a way to gain respect in the final matches. If only I had won…

I trained. I kept training. The nurses were frightened for my life. I kept pushing myself. Seeing how easily Sasuke copied my taijutsu and my speed, everything I had worked so hard to master, made me lose my confidence. I had to keep going. I had to keep trying.

I think Gai-sensei was as anxious as I was to get me back on my feet. When Tsunade-sama came back, he was outraged by her diagnosis. But we wouldn't take no for an answer. Gai-sensei said the luck is part skill- if I was strong enough, then I'd be lucky and the operation would be a success.

I watched painfully as my friends went off after Sasuke and the Sound Four- I couldn't follow, I had just had the operation. I saw Sakura-san's face, and realized where her heart belonged. Even though I realized I could never have her, I refused to watch her be sad. I wouldn't let Sasuke leave her. I wouldn't let my friends face such fierce enemies alone. The hospital could only watch me for so long- the second they turned their backs, I snuck past the medic-nins and headed toward the Rice Patty Country- the home of the Hidden Sound Village.

Perhaps it is not in my cards to properly win a battle. Kimimaro was fierce, but very confused. I somehow managed to hit him, I don't quite remember how. He said I was drunk. How could that be? The only thing I had had that day was the medicine Tsunade-sama had given me. Hmmm… perhaps the medicine had alcohol in it?

I tried the Lotus against Kimimaro, but his bones absorbed my kick. I thought it was over- when the last person in the world I expected to save me intervened. Subuku no Gaara. The man who tried to kill me as I lay unconscious in the hospital saved my life. A man who swore allegiance to no one, and wanted only to bring death to others aided the Leaf, and saved my life. What a slap in the face that was. Even he had difficulties defeating Kimimaro, but in the end, our luck prevailed and we were victorious.

Gaara… he most certainly is a very smart, observant man. In many ways, he is very much like me… We were both alone the first few years of our lives, teased by others. Certainly I agree that Gaara had a much harder childhood than I; perhaps only Naruto could truly empathize with Gaara. But the three of us, we all spent our lives seeking acknowledgement. I found Gai-sensei, Naruto-kun found Iruka-sensei, but Gaara found death.

Perhaps Gaara was right. Perhaps I am just like Kimimaro. I so needed acceptance and acknowledgement, I began to idolize the first person who showed me any respect. I was lucky to have gotten that respect from Gai-sensei, a person who truly cared about me and believed in me. Orochimaru, on the other hand, only had his own interests at heart, and used Kimimaro for his bloodline limit. I called Kimimaro weak and pathetic for his admiration and blind obedience to Orochimaru, but now I'm not sure that I wouldn't have done the same had I been in his place.

Who knows what my life would have become had I never met Gai-sensei. I may not have even graduated from the academy. If not for Gai-sensei, I may have lost faith in myself long ago. I certainly wouldn't have learned the Lotus, my strongest technique. And my nindo… no one would ever think it possible. But I will continue to protect everything dear to me: Sakura-san, Konoha, Gai-sensei, but most importantly…

My nindo.


	2. Clouds

Tsch. So troublesome, being a ninja. I wasn't even given a choice, whether to become a ninja or not. My father was a ninja, his father was a ninja, his father was a ninja…. It was just expected that I'd become a ninja. It wasn't that my father pushed me into it. He honestly couldn't have cared less. But Mom was a different story. She expected me to follow in Dad's footsteps, and I was too afraid to go against her. Women. They're troublesome also.

The Chuunin exams. I was the one who had to fight the women. First it was Kin, that girl from the Sound. She really wasn't a problem. It was easy enough to trick her. Then it was Temari. Temari was a bit different. She was much cleverer than I could have imagined. It took all my chakra to back her into a corner. I could have fought her, hand to hand, but I just can't hit a girl. It isn't right. Girls just aren't as strong as guys, right?

Well, Tayuya proved me wrong. She gave me a run for my money. I thought that those goons were the only thing I had to worry about with her. Once I got rid of them, she caught me in a genjutsu. Certainly a very cunning and skilled opponent. If not for Temari, I would have been a goner. Tsch. As if it's not bad enough having to fight a girl, now I have to be saved by a girl? Troublesome.

But maybe Temari was right. Maybe it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. It's not your gender that makes you a strong shinobi, it's your skill and determination.

Determination. That's something I really don't have. I rely completely on Kage Mane. I'd rather spend my time watching clouds than training. I'd rather outwit my opponents than outfight them.

And I'm a coward too. I'm a lazy coward. When Tsunade-sama told me I had to go after the Sound Four with a team comprised of genins, I was horrified. The only reason I even bothered to go through with it was because of my damn devotion to Konoha. For whatever reason, Konoha matters more to me than anyone could ever guess. I'm not much on sentiment, but my village is everything to me. I learned everything I know inside Konoha's walls. Everything I care about is in Konoha's walls.

Well, almost everything. Temari. She's annoying, troublesome, violent, and frightening. But I think I finally understand why my dad tolerates my mom. There's something about Temari- something about the way she makes me feel. I have a 200 plus IQ, but the only word I can think of to describe it is "happy." She's intelligent; she challenges me intellectually, which is something most people can't do.

Tsch. I must be falling hard. I'm watching the clouds, and I swear that one looks just like her fan. I can't get her off my mind. Thank goodness she lives so far away- we can build a relationship, and I won't have to worry about her nagging me constantly.

Women. Shinobi-life. Everything is so troublesome. I just want to sit back and watch the clouds glide by.


	3. Bird in a Cage

I don't know why she would forgive me. It doesn't make any sense. If I was her, I'd hate me forever. The way I treated her… the way I talked to her… the way I hurt her. I tried to kill her. I actually wanted her dead by my hands. And she just took it. She took all my abuse. She tried to fight back, but she couldn't. That's the kind of person she is- she's sweet, kind, loving; a lover, not a fighter. She's smart, even though she didn't back down from our fight at the Chuunin exams. She stood up to me, trying to prove to me that people could change. I didn't believe her. I thought that she and the Main Family would always be evil.

But I was the one who was evil. I assumed that my father was forced to give his life to protect Hiashi-sama. I believed that if Hinata could have defended herself from that kidnapper, my father's life would not have been lost. Hiashi would not have had to kill that Cloud nin. No one would have demanded the head of a Hyuuga, and my father would have been spared. She was three. How could I possibly expect her to fight off such a fierce opponent?

I blamed everything on her, all of my problems. I hated her. I loathed her. I treated her like shit. Despite my obligation to protect her, I even tried to kill her. How easy would it have been for her to stop me? To just activate my cursed seal, and remind me of my place? But she never stooped to that. She wouldn't bring herself down to my level.

And that made me hate her more. She was too perfect. Everyone loved her, or so I assumed. I knew she was weak, but I had no idea how her father felt about her. When she started her missions as a genin, he all but told Kurenai he didn't care if Hinata came back alive or not.

When she entered the Chuunin exams, I knew it was only because of her teammates. She wouldn't let them down. And I was actually happy about that. I really hoped she would die. But I was wrong, very wrong. She entered to prove to herself how much she had grown since graduating from the academy. She didn't want to prove it to me, Naruto, her father, her teammates. Just herself.

When I learned the truth about my father- that he had made that sacrifice on his own, I didn't know what to think. I realized I had terribly misjudged the Main Family, but I wasn't willing to admit that I was wrong.   
It took so much time for me to get up the courage to apologize to her. She smiled her sweet, beautiful smile. And she forgave me. That was it. That was all there was to it.

And it made me even angrier. She was perfect. She was too perfect. She was kind, smart, sweet, beautiful. I don't know why it made me madder. I don't want her to forgive me. I want her to hate me. I want her to despise me. Then I'll know that she's actually human.

It's strange. Everyone looks up to me as the Hyuuga genius: a cool, calm, collected, ninja who isn't afraid of anything. But I want to be more like Hinata. I want to be able to just forgive and forget. I want her inner strength, her ability to love others without limit. I want to be just like her. She has a tough position in life. She has to inherit our family and deal with all of its idiotic rituals, and she plans to change them.

It's funny how strong that girl really is. If I was ever to face her in a match again, I'd forfeit immediately. Not just because I swore to her I'd devote the rest of my life to protecting her, but because I am genuinely impressed by her strength.

My teammates- I hate to admit it, but they impress me also. Gai-sensei is strong, I will admit it. His strength and speed are frightening, plus he has a strong supply of ninjutsu and genjutsu. He's very… encouraging, to say the least, but certainly a frightening personality. And Lee is a frightening copy of Gai. But I can understand why those two get along- they're both very determined. Lee will never give up, not until he's able to beat me. There was a time when I never would have imagined that could happen, but now I'm not so sure. Lee, as I witnessed at the Chuunin exams, can be a very tough person, with lots of tricks up his sleeve. It's been good for me to train with him. He makes me keep my guard up. As much as I hate to admit it, I do have to work hard to beat him. Tenten. She's beautiful, strong, and smart. It's refreshing to have a female ninja that's not completely obsessed with guys. She keeps cool, and is never willing to run from a fight. She's a very valuable asset to our team, indeed. I'm grateful I didn't get stuck with a girl who'd be gushing over guys all the time. I'm grateful to be part of such a strong team.

I believed in destiny, a cruel, awful thing. Destiny that made my father the second born. Destiny that gave me the true strength of the Byakugen. Destiny that made Hinata the "weak" one in our family. Destiny that gave Lee so much desire to be a ninja, and no talent as a ninja. Destiny had a twisted sense of humor. But I think it may work out best for our family. Hinata will be a kind leader. I'll be there to back her up, act as her strength. She'll find a way to get rid of the separate houses. No Main Family. No Branch Family. Just the Hyuuga family, which sounds much better to me.

My destiny was to serve my family, to protect the Byakugen. I've altered that slightly throughout the years. My duty now is to Hinata-sama, to make up for my years of abusing her. I will protect Hinata-sama, and consequently the Byakugen. I will make up for every wrong I have done. I will make my father proud.


	4. More

Naruto is my motivation. My teammates are my strength. I've watched Naruto for many years now, trying to be as determined and strong as he is. I can only hope that someday, he'll watch me with the same awe I have for him. My teammates encourage me. They help me practice, develop my techniques, and grow strong. I am not a physically strong person. I could never properly use the techniques of the Hyuuga family. But I do have my own strengths, and I must learn to build off of those.

I am finally learning that I am strong. I have come to realize I can be more that what everyone expected of me. I have changed so much in such a short time. Perhaps it was those low expectations that kept me from growing strong. Perhaps it was my fear of hurting someone I love, the way that Neji was hurt because of me.

He apologizes repeatedly for the way he once treated me. But I wonder, would I have felt any differently than he? Would I have been strong enough to let go of my father's life that easily? People think my father doesn't care about me, but he really does. He just never learned how to train me, to bring out my full potential. And that perturbed him. He grew more stressed with each passing day. Now that I have learned how to train myself, he has one less thing to worry about. But I can understand how, to an outsider, it might look like our family is loveless.

We Hyuugas are a quiet family. Are strength lies in our chakra control. To control our chakra, we must control ourselves- our emotions, thoughts, and actions. We don't celebrate often. We are happy, of course, but that happiness is kept to oneself. That's why we've learned how to read other people so well. At the Chuunin exam, Neji was able to analyze me, and stated my feelings to everyone. I was embarrassed. And I was angry. I knew he was right, and I did not want to be so… so weak! I refused to be scared. I knew I had to change, and what better time to start, than by standing up for myself. Of course, it was easier with Naruto cheering me on.

Naruto is much more like me than he ever could have thought. We have both spent our lives looking for acceptance. We both strive to be recognized for the good points within us. And we both cheer each other on, even though I am a bit quieter about it than he is. It is outspoken nature that I admire most. Coming from such a quiet family, it was a great shock to meet someone like Naruto. No matter how many times people put him down, or how mean they were, he just laughed back and told them how strong he would become. No one believed him. Except me, that is.

I am a Hyuuga, and as such I can see things better than others can. I saw Naruto's strength and determination, and I believed that he would rise above all of us. He was a goof who no one respected. Now look where he is. He defeated Neji, fought valiantly against the Sound Five, trained with a legendary Sannin, and all before becoming a Chuunin. He gained the respect of the village when he saved us all from Shukaku, the demon within Gaara. It makes me happy to know that people finally see Naruto the way I do.

Naruto is not the only person I admire. My teammates have given me my strength. They have been training me nonstop, helping me improve me technique and control. Their faith in me makes me stronger as well. When we searched for the Bikouchu, and I was fighting those three Stone ninjas, Shino wouldn't let Naruto step in. He knew I needed to prove to myself that my techniques were truly battle-ready. A team is only as strong as its weakest link, and I refuse to be the weakest.

I must be strong if I plan to lead my family. I will most certainly make changes to the Hyuuga family. I want very much to destroy the Branch and Main houses. I can't stand the thought of causing anyone else the hurt that Neji endured. We are a family. We are blood. We are not just some military tool designed to protect our eyes.

But I must protect my family too. Not everyone in the Branch house is as strong as Neji. If word got out that Branch members were no longer getting seals, they would be in extreme danger. The seal, you see, is a way of protecting the family. People know that if they kill a Branch member, the Byakugen is destroyed. The only worthwhile dead Hyuuga is a Main house member. Attackers would much prefer to face only Main house members, trying to limit the number of Hyuugas they must fight. It is, of course, also meant to give the Main house protection as well, being able to control the seal on the Branch members. But that aspect is something that I want to do away with. I don't want certain family members to be elevated above the others.

I know it will take much more work to become strong enough to achieve my goals. But I will not stop working, no matter how difficult the journey becomes. I will work harder. I will try more.

More.

More….


	5. Avenger

A/N: As always, please review! But nothing too mean, or I'll cry, and you don't want that, cause then I'll whine, and then no one is happy. And thanks to every reader who has reviewed my writing so far (this and my other pieces). Thanks, people!

Avenger

What would they know about me? What could anyone possibly understand about my motivations? It's very difficult for me to be concerned with Konoha's fate, when they all turned their backs on me.

I saw my parents die at the hands of my brother, the man I had admired my entire life. With just a few strong slices, my life ended right there.

It was traumatized.

My family had just died, after all, and I was still so young.

I heard the people whispering. "That poor boy. He's the only survivor." "I wonder why Itachi spared him?" "What's he going to do with himself now?" "He'll have to finish ninja academy. He's still an Uchiha." "But will he really want to fight after such an experience?"

They all said things to each other about how pathetic my situation was. But no one ever helped. I was left alone, in my family's compounds, with nothing more than my name. There were times when I was sure I would starve. The only reason I pushed on was because I had a purpose- I had to kill that man.

He was no longer my brother. A brother is someone you respect, someone you love. A brother takes care of you and you take care of him. Itachi was no such thing. He was simply a man. He is just a man, who will meet his fate by my hands.

I stayed in the academy, learning to fight so that one day I could face him.

I don't know if it was purely an accident, or something planned by the Third, but I ended up on the team of Hatake Kakashi, a legendary "copy ninja". You can't imagine my surprise when we battled Zabuza, and he revealed his Sharingan. I had never heard of anyone outside of the family having the Sharingan. And I was jealous. Kakashi had complete control of his Sharingan, and mine hadn't even begun to develop. I knew without Sharingan, I could never stand a chance against that man.

I was also jealous of Haku. He was about the same age as the rest of us, but his power seemed to frighten even Kakashi. It didn't seem fair that one person with a bloodline limit had so much more strength than another person with a bloodline limit. Fighting Haku, I decided to prove the true strength of the Sharingan. I would not lose to anyone.

I'm sure Kakashi was picked on purpose, to teach me how to use the Sharingan. When I got the cursed seal from Orochimaru-sama, he took great care in telling me not to push past my limits. If I had known that the seal would take over and that I'd become stronger, I would have ignored his advice. But I was too afraid to die before I could kill that man.

When we were nominated to the Chuunin exams, I couldn't have been happier. As Lee said, it was a perfect place to test my techniques. Lee, Gaara, Neji, and even Naruto, would all prove formidable enemies, pushing me past my limit.

I don't think anyone in Konoha expected Orochimaru-sama to come after me during the Chuunin exam. No one would have thought him that foolish. But when Orochimaru wants something, he will certainly get it. I'd be more than happy to give him the Sharingan in exchange for the strength to defeat my brother.

Naruto and Sakura think I went to Orochimaru because I'm "bad". But that's not the case. If I had done what Itachi had said, and killed Naruto to get the Kaleidoscope Sharingan, I could probably never forgive myself. Naruto is one of few people in the world who understands the pain of being alone and abandoned. Abandoned by an entire village…

Naruto became very much like a brother to me. A part of me was amazed at how much his strength had grown since graduating, and gave me hope that I could become stronger too. But the part of me that was controlled by the cursed seal was bitter. I hated Naruto. He was a complete idiot, with nothing to prove. All he ever talked about was ramen and becoming Hokage. His mission, to me, seemed materialistic. My mission was based on honor and revenge. We may not have seemed like good brothers, but isn't brotherhood partly based on jealousy and competition?

Sakura… Where do I begin describing Sakura? She, like Naruto, started off very annoying. But Sakura was much worse. She was clingy, repulsive, and insensitive. I didn't think I'd be able to stand being on her team. I was resentful that I would have to waste time protecting her, so that our team could move on. Like Naruto, Sakura also grew, but in a different way. Her analytical skills and genjutsu increased beyond compare. She also had amazing chakra control from the beginning, something that again made me jealous, and resentful. But I became very protective of Sakura. When I saw her hurt, I lost control. The cursed seal took over and pushed my mind toward vengeance. I was ready to kill that Sound nin.

I don't feel guilty about betraying Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi either. None of them would have become my friends if we hadn't been placed on the same team. Of course we grew to depend on each other, but that's to be expected when you're dealing with life and death matters. That doesn't mean I wouldn't mind killing any of them. It was made perfectly obvious that I refused to kill Naruto in our last battle. It's hard to say if that was just my way of disobeying Itachi, or if I actually did care about my friend. The fact of the matter is that Naruto is still alive. I won't let him stop me from killing that man.

I must kill that man. I am an Avenger.


	6. Bugs

A/N: seeing as how Shino talks very little, this may be a bit OOC. I'm basically just using Shino's perspective to investigate the relationship in his team.

What "Bugs" Me

Hmmmm…. Maybe that's why I don't talk so much. I really do apologize for the horrible joke. It's not that I'm really anti-social. I do get along with my teammates just fine. I'm just quiet by nature. It's a good quality for a ninja to have. A ninja should be able to plan and carry out an attack without being discovered by their enemy. It's a trait my family has passed on for generations. It's a lesson I've been learning my entire life. It's one of the things that makes me such a great ninja.

Granted, not all the great ninja in Konoha are quiet. Naruto, for example, couldn't be quiet to save his life. Fortunately for him, he doesn't need to be quiet to save his life. He's got quite a few other talents. Kiba, my teammate, used to be very loud and obnoxious. He's matured a great deal in a short amount of time. He doesn't complain as much as he used to. I think his fight with Ukon and Sakon made him realize he has to be serious to be a successful ninja. It was hard truth for him to face, but it's helped him hone his skills and become stronger.

Kiba's not the only one who's improved greatly. Hinata has been working relentlessly since the Chunin exams. He chakra control, flexibility, and strength have surpassed my wildest imagination.

Hinata… Kiba and I are certainly very protective of her. She's like a sister. A frighteningly skilled warrior-type sister, but a sister nonetheless. I remember Kiba's deep resentment towards Neiji, and honestly, I felt the same way. I was relieved when Neiji and Hinata reconciled after the Chunin exam. I had been dreading the day when Kiba would make me fight Neiji with him.

When we first became a team, I wasn't sure I'd get along with either of them. If not for Hinata, I'm sure I would have murdered Kiba many times over. She kept us both calm, and made us work through our differences. We became very close, as normally happens when you're surrounded by people whom you face life and death situations with constantly. Kiba calmed down, I became less serious, and Hinata grew slightly more confident. We became very comfortable in our roles: Kiba the strength, Hinata to heart, and myself, the mind. It hurt our balance when Hinata fought on her own when we were looking for the Bikouchu, but she had to prove herself. And besides, she's still the same basic Hinata.

Kurenai-sensei, despite her inexperience, is a great leader. She's very compassionate and understanding, but strong and completely ruthless. As a female ninja, she's not afraid to use one of her greatest weapons either- her mesmerizing sexuality. Yeah, I said it. So she's my sensei, so what? I can still think that she's hot. There's no ninja code against that. Besides, I would never act on it. Unless my dreams came true…

Hey, no one said you had to pay attention to me. (That's probably another reason I don't talk much.)

Where was I? Ah, yes, my team. We've become very functional in a rather short period of time. We've learned to rely on each other's strengths, and are working together to remove each other's weaknesses. Kiba's weakness was his inability to stop and think out a situation. He's learned to slow down and make sure he's prepared for what's coming in battle. Hinata's weakness was her lack of self esteem. She's become more confident, and is thus able to act quickly and precisely. My weakness was… well, I don't know. Perhaps I was a little too cocky, and relied too much on myself. I've become quite dependent on my teammates.

They still think I'm strange though. I have bugs living in my body. Of course I'm strange. But in my family, it's not just strange, it's our ultimate weapon. Controlling the bugs lets me set up traps for my opponents, scout out ahead, and be an excellent tracker. I wouldn't fit it on my team if I wasn't able to find our enemies. Our missions are relying more and more on our tracking skills. We seem to always be hunting for someone, or something.

There was a hunt that I missed though.

I should have been in the group that went after Sasuke.

It's not that I'm angry that I missed the action. I just can't help but wonder if my presence would have made a difference. Would Choji and Neiji have avoided their life threatening injuries? Would Kiba and Akamaru have been so badly hurt? Would Lee have had to risk his life fighting that Kimimaro guy? Would Sasuke have gotten away?

I doubt that I would have made that much of a difference. The team still would have had to split up. But I can't get it out of my mind. Maybe, just maybe, I could have helped…

And of course, I really am angry that I missed the action. It seems like almost every genin in Konoha was there, the guys at least. Even that gimp, Lee, was there. Heck, even those Sand ninja showed up. It sounded intense, too. Kiba told me what happened, eventually. It was a challenge getting him to talk, which is unusual. Once I heard the details, though, I knew I should have been there. I may be a weird, quiet loner. But I still don't like being left out.

It was kind of like how I felt after the Chuunin exam. I was the only person from my team to make the finals, but that jerk Kankuro dropped out of our match. I didn't have a chance to prove my strength then, either. I got cheated out of my chance to become a Chuunin. I have to wait till next time, I guess. It's still annoying. What a pain in the ass.

Well, whatever. I'll keep training, keep working, and do the best on my missions. Someday we'll get Sasuke back, and someday, I'll become a Chuunin, no matter what anyone does to try to stop me.


	7. Forehead

Maybe I wasn't always as nice as I could possibly be. Maybe I wasn't always as strong as I could always be (hell, I know I wasn't either of those things). But at least I had the courage to say to myself, "Sakura, you useless bitch, you need to learn to kick some ass, and make up with Ino." I don't think I would have learned this lesson if Sasuke hadn't left.

I don't know why I gave up my friendship with Ino to chase after Sasuke. She was the first person to treat me nicely. She taught me a lot about people. And I turned on her. At the time, I really didn't even like Sasuke that much. I just thought he was cool, smart, and good-looking. When I ended up on his team, I was in heaven! It took awhile for us to really become a team, but as I got to know him, I realized I really did love him.

Sasuke became everything to me. All I wanted was to be able to prove my worth to him. Can you imagine my joy when he complimented my genjutsu right before the Chuunin exam? It was the greatest moment of my life!

But then something changed with Sasuke, after Orochimaru attacked us in the Forest of Death. It was my turn to protect him and Naruto, but I couldn't. I would have been killed, easily, if Lee didn't show up when he did. It was unbelievable, the way he pushed past his own physical limits to help me. I couldn't believe it. It inspired me- seeing someone so strong. It made me want to be better. I had to improve- not just to impress Sasuke. I had to do it for myself.

Sasuke scared me when he woke up. He wasn't himself. It was as if he was possessed by a demon. I learned later that he really did get possessed- by Orochimaru. It was frightening. He would have killed that Sound nin if I hadn't stopped him.

He wasn't the same Sasuke after that. He was darker- if you can believe it. That word scared me. "Avenger." The way he said it, it felt like death was speaking. It sounds crazy, but whenever he would say that word, I would be frightened.

When Sasuke left, I was heartbroken. Had I known he needed to kill a friend to get the Kaleidoscope Sharingan, I would have made him kill me that night. It frightens me to think of what he will become being with Orochimaru. Will he really become evil? Or will he still be the same Sasuke deep down? I can't stand the thought of Sasuke being a wanted S-class criminal. I can't stand it. It's the worst feeling in the world to see someone you once idolized become something so… horrible.

I hate Orochimaru for taking Sasuke away, for making him so vengeful. Before, Sasuke hated his brother, of course, but he was content to train hard to become strong. When Orochimaru cused Sasuke, he became intent on killing Itachi immediately. He lost his patience.

If I'm ever going to get Sasuke back from Orochimaru, I'll have to be strong. I used to think I was sufficient as a ninja, but my opponents severely outclassed me. I will not give up fighting until I have freed Sasuke from the darkness within him. Come hell or high water, I'll get him back.

I am Haruno Sakura. I am not just a school girl with a crush. I am not a nut just a kunoichi. I am a ninja.


	8. All That And A Bag Of Chips

Okay, let's start by getting one thing straight:

I

Do

_**NOT**_

Wear underwear on my head

It is a bandana. I need it to keep my hair out of my face. And if you say otherwise…

Well, I probably wouldn't care, because, to be quite honest, I don't care what other people think of me. At least, I don't care what people who don't know me think of me. Wait, did that make sense? I'm feeling lightheaded. I need a snack.

…

Okay, that's better. Anyway, I don't care what other people think of me. My teammates, my family, and my sensei all respect me. That's all I care about.

I wasn't always so calm, though. I used to hate it when the other kids made fun of me for being fat. I'm really not that fat… yet. It's part of being an Akimichi. We're very big boned. That's how we use our jutsu. If I weighed 80 pounds, I would be as useless as, well, as Ino's whining! (Man I hope she doesn't read my mind and find out I said that). I'm not meant to be a weak little twig. My jutsus require obscene amounts of energy. And what's the most dense source of Carbon energy? Fat! And what's a fat dense, non-perishable, easily transported source of fat? Chips! See, I'm not just some dumb, fat kid. I know what I'm doing. Akimichi jutsus are based on strength, on bulk. Believe it or not, I've got lots of muscles underneath this fat.

Ino said she liked me better when I was skinny, when I came out of the hospital after that fight with the Sound Five. I know she was kidding, just trying to cheer me up. She's much nicer than she comes off. And the best thing is… SHE'S FINALLY OVER SASUKE! I have HATED hearing her go on and on and on and on about Sasuke. Sure, he is/was a nice guy, but come on. Enough is enough. It made me so mad, I just wanted to eat! But, she has become really caring. I think seeing Sasuke leave, and seeing what happened to us, she realized what really matters to her.

Fortunately, I had Shikamaru on my team too. He had been my best friend since we were kids. He's so smart, just really lazy. But that's okay. I see underneath his laziness, his apathy. Just like he sees underneath my fat. We understand each other on a deeper level. That's why we make such a great team. That's why we can put up with Ino. We have each other to rely on.

Asuma sensei is a great mentor, for all of us. Sometimes, I kinda feel like Shikamaru is his favorite. He's always bragging about how smart Shikamaru is, how quickly he made Chuunin, blah blah blah. But, he's great at motivating all of us. He tells Shikamaru he can't watch the clouds until practice is over. He tells Ino she has to practice to be able to beat Sakura. And he tells me that he'll buy Korean Barbeque if I practice. Sigh. If only he didn't lie so much. Why do we keep believing him? Is it the beard? Is he like Santa Claus, with his beard, and his pipe, and his bowl full of jelly? Or am I just getting confused?

Man, I need another snack.


	9. Fan

A/N: Okay, here you go, as requested, for WhenDarknessRises2. If you want your name here, let me know what character(s) you want me to write about it!

* * *

I absolutely hate men who think that I am a sub-par shinobi merely because I'm a woman. Gender has no impact on skill. I am a woman. And I am a shinobi. These two facts are not related.

Perhaps I am just bitter because I am surrounded by so many men. Living with my two brothers is most certainly difficult. Kankuro is very mouthy. He's constantly talking about how strong and fierce he is, especially when Gaara's not around. Don't get me wrong, Kankuro is very strong, but he needs to shut up about it.

Gaara is the complete opposite of Kankuro. He's always very quiet, very focused. He can scare the crap out of me just by looking at me sometimes. He's a remarkable killing machine- the perfect shinobi. Fortunately, he's calmed down considerably since his run-in with that Naruto kid.

Gaara's always been a bit… off. He's been obsessed with killing ever since our uncle died. I can understand why things were so hard for him. It can't be easy growing up with everyone scared of you, constantly trying to kill you. And then having your uncle attack you; that must have been unbearable! I'm actually quite relieved that Gaara met up with Naruto. He learned he's not alone in this world. He's gained more control over the demon within him, and more trust in me and Kankuro.

I love my brothers very deeply. Since our mom died, I've kinda taken over watching them. It was hard. It made me grow up far too quickly. But it's also helped me learn what's important in life. I also loved my father. When he ordered us to attack the Leaf, I was really upset. Taking care of my brothers somewhat pacified me. I didn't want to hurt innocent people. I didn't want to start a war. But we obeyed his orders, being the good little shinobi we are.

It was only after the attack that we learned the truth. Orochimaru had killed our father, and took his place. He orchestrated the entire attack. I was angry. I vowed revenge against the Sound. They will pay.

The good thing that came out of it was Gaara. He changed. He became stronger. He took control of his body, took control away from that demon inside him. It's nice to have my little brother being himself finally. I love what he's turned into. He no longer tries to control Kankuro and I.

There were so many times when I was frightened of Gaara. I was ready to run away, many times, to just give up on him. It was hard to think of him as a brother. But I knew I had to protect him, prevent him from getting himself into trouble. Kankuro and I were afraid he'd be considered a criminal. He is a strong warrior, but there are others out there who are stronger and who could kill him. He had so many attempts on his life, by the time he was five, Kankuro and I had already dedicated our lives to protecting him. Even though we wanted to hide from him sometimes, we stayed beside him.

It's so nice to have the real Gaara around.

See what I mean, about men giving me problems? Oh, and there's more! Shikamaru… I don't know what to think about him. He's so lazy, arrogant, annoying, and pathetically sexist. So how come I can't stop thinking about him? He's not that amazing looking either. Not like Sasuke. Of course, he's handsome, but not super handsome. Wow, I really need to get that loser out of my head! He's so… so… gyargh!

Sometimes, I wish I was an amazon!


	10. Tool

A/N: This one is also for WhenDarknessRises2, sorry it took so long! Hope you like it!

00000000000

Many people would question my motives. I willingly and happily serve Zabuza, as nothing more than a tool, a mere object which he is welcome to throw away at any time. But most people have not had the life I had. It became apparent that my strength, my bloodline, which was designed to protect the country, was something feared and hated by others. To feel your strength be unwanted is hurtful enough, but to feel your strength be despised is worse than death.

Zabuza was different than everyone else. He was not afraid of me. He actually wanted my power. This made me feel needed. It gave me a purpose in life. I willingly and happily became his tool, dedicating my life to protecting his ambition. It made me very happy.

This was our bargain. I could accompany Zabuza, and better learn to use my bloodline, and in return, I agreed to be his tool. He wanted no emotional involvement. His emotions had caused him to abandon his ambitions before. In order to help him achieve his dream, I asked no feelings come between us.

Zabuza, however, did develop fatherly feelings toward me. He had ways of showing it. I had a pet rabbit once, when I was quite young, and whenever it would escape from me, Zabuza would quickly catch it and return it. He said he needed to keep me amused so I wouldn't bother him as he plotted our next move. But I knew, deep down, he cared for me, and wanted me to be happy. But I would never dream of pointing this out to him. I was afraid to even bring up the subject of feelings. I didn't want to be angry with me, to think I was being needy and demanding. I had what I needed. I had a purpose in life.

Mind you, I didn't always agree with Zabuza's ways. I found myself to be a kind-hearted person, wishing good will towards everyone. But to keep Zabuza's ambitions alive, I'd gladly kill the good inside of me, and become a true shinobi. It is only by protecting someone precious that one can become truly strong.

I never doubted my path. I knew that serving Zabuza was the only way I could feel fulfilled. Naruto, however, disagreed with me. He was very much like me. He grew up being hated, possibly even feared. He found his purpose early on though- to prove to everyone his value. By dreaming of becoming Hokage, he gave his life purpose. I had no dreams, no hopes, no goals. When Zabuza came along, I found my dream, my hope, my goal. All I wanted was for him to succeed, because that would give meaning to my life.

And, as for the pink dress- well, it was my mother's. Since my father killed her and tried to kill me, I naturally want to distance myself from him. I want to remember my mother, the way she tried to protect me. But I also want to remember the pain she bore for me. She was not allowed to use her bloodline like I was. Her purpose in life was to protect me from the hatred of our society. She, at one point in her life, served the country. But as her powers became feared, she became hated, and her services were no longer desired. Her chance to fight for something precious to her was taken away by the ignorance of her own country.

To help Zabuza obtain his ambitions, I was willing to die. The gift of purpose that Zabuza gave me was worth more than the entire world. But the fact that he cared enough for me to die with me proves that I was more than just a tool to him.

I am more than just a tool.


End file.
